“It’s like a pause button,” Ergane says. “The emotions are still waiting for me when I’m done, but it gives me a break.”

Smoking is Ergane’s excuse to walk away from the stress in his life. He admits to me and Dan as we facilitate this week’s Out To Quit session that cigarettes don’t actually relieve stress; they just provide a temporary escape. An escape that, lately, he has been using 20 times each day.

The group is back together on Tuesday 1/26. It is our fourth meeting together to discuss their goals to quit tobacco. Lark presides over the gang of gay men in their attempt to quit smoking. Their homework since last meeting? To STAND.

Each group member was given a STAND worksheet with which to record their cigarette cravings for one week. When the urge hit, they documented the Scene, Time, their Attitude, their Need, and what they were Doing at the time of the craving. The purpose of the worksheet is to raise awareness for the smoky reflex that becomes subconscious in a haze of the day-to-day. To hit a target, you need a clear shot.

Sitting around the familiar table, the group shares their insights. “I realized a smoke a lot when I’m at the computer,” Gregory announces. To practice distancing himself from tobacco, he moved his ashtray away from his desk.

 Irfan has successfully cut down from four cigarettes before work to two by showering right away in the morning and changing his reveille routine. Dustin stopped smoking in his car by chewing copious amounts of gum.

Social smokers are a big trigger for most of the folks in the group. Michael planned for this by spending more time with his non-smoking friends, and with his son, around whom he never smokes.

Jay, new to the group this week, livens up the room with jokes and laughter. He has cut out a few cigarettes a day by hanging out with his smoke-free boyfriend.

Some of the group members take more acute measures after documenting their cravings. Matt tells us he found the bus stop to be a big trigger, so he walked all the way to his destination instead. He said he felt great getting more exercise.

Ron takes the cake. He adjusts his baseball cap and tells us he moved to a smoke-free property!

The group has certainly taken all different approaches to cut out cigarettes and experiment with quitting. Some play on their cell phones or chew toothpicks. Others move to an apartment complex in which they can’t smoke. The important thing: with practice, each person invents their own perfect way to quit tobacco.

Lark facilitates a conversation about the group’s findings while Dan writes details on the whiteboard. Lark summarizes the coping methods that the group has used after identifying when they smoke and why.

 “Deep breathing, exercise, reminding yourself smoking isn’t necessary: these are all tactics in your quit,” he shares with the group. Tactics are methods for in-the-moment urge coping. “But let’s explore strategies together.”

Lark describes strategies as big-picture goals or frames of mind that combine different tactics. For instance, the quitting strategy of “focusing on better health” could include tactics like eating carrot sticks instead of smoking, lifting weights to cope with urges, and drinking lots of water. Tactics are crucial for quitting, but strategies allow us to organize our quits, reinforcing our motivations and values.

The group has set a Quit Date together: February 10th. In the meantime, they will text each other for support, log onto our Out To Quit page on the Gay City Health Project’s Facebook account, and practice strategies and tactics. Next week we’ll discuss coping methods for the Big Kahuna of addiction: stress management.

Stay tuned for updates on the group’s endeavor!